Fighting with glasses, Don't do it!

As a quick disclaimer, the Our Bad boys don't encourage fighting of any kind (unless its verbal and because your girlfriend decided to go out with her 'friends' and ended up slipping, and landing on a male with his pants down in his bed. OR if you're getting paid; we all embrace taking a right hook for a hefty direct deposit). Now that we have washed our hands from any liability of our partially psychotic following going out and eating knuckle sandwiches all weekend, let me recap my heavily intoxicated Saturday night.

I should have realized it was going to be a long night when the Dawgs that make up the Springfield Men's Lacrosse Team had a big come back win to start the afternoon. Clearly I didn't, because we started getting fuzzy. After a quick trek through the woods we find ourselves at the Snow Palace to watch the Rangers play a game 6. For lack of a better term, BIG FUCKING WIN. Rangers win the series and move on. We start going bonkers and did some things our parents would for sure not be proud of. Welcome to the murder capital.

While my good buddy Brendan Dooley was arming the front door of his luxurious estate on Middlesex St, in the upscale section of Springfield, Massachusetts. A fairly dumb looking underclassmen decided he would tempt fate and enter this extravagant social function. It turns out this kid was indeed dumb, because rather than leaving as he was turned down from entry, he challenged Dooley to a wrestling match down the driveway and into the middle of the street. Out of respect for Mrs. Dooley who holds her All American-esque son in high regard, I will leave out the details of how this underclassmen ended up with his spine perpendicular to the double yellow line. Not only was the kid dumb, he was really dumb, because after he was pardoned from his inevitable demise, HE CONTINUED!

As we turned and started to walk back in, I feel these prairie dog hands grab my shirt and throw me against the fence. Stupid idiot! One thing leads to another and the next thing I know my glasses are taking flight over the fence like The Great Bambino just called his shot. All I can think of is "I DON'T EVEN GO HERE!!!" as I try to make a play on the glasses before they get lost in the thick stuff next door. This guy must have always fixed his divots because his lawn was looking longer than the guard rail mark on the side of my car. Now I clearly wear glasses for a reason, and you could tell this by the way I react because I square up like....

In other words I am what they call 'blind as a bat', so i'm not sure what ensued after this but I retrieved my glasses just in time to see this dumb idiot get slammed against the hood of the car by Public Safety Police.

Now glasses that get sent into orbit normally ends one of two ways, either I get hit once and my glasses shatter and break into a million pieces and I am actually blind for ever and ever and ever, or option 2 which is exactly what happened. My glasses fly over the fence and sneak around the pesky pole, sorry Officer Horgan.

The god send of a human being that witnessed this and jumped on my glasses like a loose ball in OT deserves to be the Gruden Grinder for the week. And to the public safety officer that told me to "shut the fuck up before i cuff you too", goooooodlooooox not cuffing me, that would have been cheeky butt.

Long story short, keep your prescription frames close and your adrenaline low 4 eyes!