God I am Dumb

When you sit down to write a report that you’ve known about for months the day before it is due, your mind finally starts realizing how dumb you are for putting it off until now. So naturally, you start to think of all the time you wasted by doing stupid shit when you could have had this project done with less stress and greater efficiency weeks ago. I’m not sure what the chemical composition in my brain is but I’m sure that it is a hair or two off.

This mix up of chemicals splashing around in my head makes me think that I actually work better when I have a deadline of let’s say 3 hours until the project is actually due, so I have decided to make up a list of things I could be doing other than my actual homework.

-Blogging.

-Searching through YouTube of cute little puppies.

-Getting this hair out of my eye.

-Searching YouTube for videos that will make me cry to get said hair out of my eye.

-Watching soldiers surprise their families by coming home early.

-Crying watching said soldiers come home but not having the actual hair come out of my eye.

-Wondering if the girl at Dunkin’ gave me 2 free donuts because they were closing in 42 minutes or because she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me.

-Walking my dog.

-Looking at the moon while walking my dog and thinking “wow these dudes flew a rocket ship into outer space, landed it on the moon, danced around the flagpole like little thotties, flew back to earth, and lived.

-Realizing they were probably motivated by the Jets winning the superbowl earlier that year.

-Wondering why people go to the “Quiet Zone” in the library just to be loud.

-Thinking of ways to promote my dumb blogs.

-Hey, go check out this thank you note I wrote to water that I posted earlier.

-Food prepping.

-Working out.

-Realizing you are a fat loser and have body odor.

-Watching School of Rock.

-Singing Ned Schneebly adjace’s hit single “It’s a Long Way to the Top”.

-Reminiscing about how you stayed in chorus in middle school cause that’s where all the girls were.

-Singing Mr. Sine's line up of High School Musical songs from 7th grade acapella.

-Going outside to sit in your car and putting the Bluetooth (yea, I got it like that, fuck an AUX) on max decibel’s to drown out how bad of a singer you are when you try to be Gabriella and Troy starting something new.

-Searching for jobs.

-Cleaning up my social media pages for future employers.

-Plugging said social media pages (IG: @drewcregan , Twitter: @anickc23 , Snapchat: drewcregan ) follow me, goodloooooox.

-Realizing that the project that you have been putting off this entire time is about promoting a positive image of yourself on social media.

-FUCK.

-G2G.

-ttyl.