The Met Gala: A Peasants View

I alluded to this earlier on twitter-when I see all of the pictures of people/celebrities dressed up in outrageous and lavish garments to I guess, I don't know, rub it in our face how rich and powerful they are, I can't help but wonder, what really is the Met Gala? After a brief google search, I guess many people had the same freaking question. The New York Times even ran an article on this exact topic. The article tells us that the Met Gala (Officially the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Benefit...yea Met Gala sounds way better) is to benefit the, for all intents and purposes, the fashion department.

Now, I know we at Our Bad aren't any types of geniuses, but I feel as a fashion department there could be a potential revenue stream in...I don't know...selling clothes. But maybe they don't do that, I don't really have the desire or care to look up how the Met Costume Institute serves as a function in our society. So instead, they assemble a group of A-listers to strut down the carpet in some unbelievable insane crazy nuts outfits. And to prove to you how "fashion forward" (stupid) they are, I have assembled a list of my favorites and will be giving a critical review of what I think each outfit represents.

First we have Kendall Jenner, or one of the Jenner's I always get them confused...I digress. At this years Met Gala she can be seen sporting the "If My Dad Wasn't a Woman He might be Pissed" look. Slits everywhere. You know how the land makes up 30% of the world and the other 70% is occupied by water? Well think of her outfit as the land, it really only covers 30% of her body. Call me old fashioned, but give me a dress that covers more, I like to play the guessing game.

Next we have someone who I don't care about wearing something ridiculous. In terms of practicality, there literally is none in this outfit. I wonder if there are like snotty versions of streakers or things for this event, where all they do is try and step on the dress and ruin the whole thing. Some people just want to see it burn. In terms of practicality though, this is the NYC NIGHTMARE. First of all, your rain/outwear coat barely covers your torso, makes no sense. Doesn't material that long in the back make you scared to ride the subway/do anything? How does one even carry that thing? I guess if one things for sure they can dust off the floor at MSG with the back of the coat. This outfit confuses me.

Now we've got Pharrell and his wife Helen. Helen, we will get to you in a second. First, the actual celebrity-Pharrell. I really don't mind this outfit because even for him, it's relatively tame. But if you are going to some Bourgie event throw on a jacket for me, I don't care if you pair it with one of his ridiculous hats, give me something other than Grease Lightning. As for Helen. What the hell Helen. You look like the damn female reproductive system pictograms they show you in SexEd, and your arms are the Fallopian tubes. You look like if the Kool Aid Man tried to go main stream. You look like Red Lobster throwing out a 10/hr part time employee to flip the "Kids Eat Free" sign. Helen this outfit sucks. And I don't know fashion, but any dress could've beat this.

Jaden Smith. What a treasure this kid has become. I really don't know why everyone loves him, I really don't even know what he does but apparently he does it well since he is here but...onto the outfit. As for the outfit, I really don't mind it. Safe choice, Idk what to call them but they look like joggers. My only concern is the what I think are high heels, maybe he is short, but if he is, he should just own it, the heels are for the girls. What I am concerned with is that HE IS HOLDING HIS DAMN HAIR. What on planet earth is this kid doing. "Alright I got my keys, phone, wallet i'm set....shit I forgot my dreads! Be back in a second". "Hey babe, I didn't have time to get you flowers, so I made a bouquet of my DNA. Hope you like it". I already hate my generation and i've got plenty of years left in it (I hope and pray). He's carrying around his folicles like a purse. Shit. I can't say anything more. I am getting so mad.

Last, we've got Katy Perry. I call this the "Mulan if she wanted the Hun's to stomp all over her" look. Mostly because it's red. And something about it reminds me of the dragons that people dance under in like a conga line. This one is certainly the most ass hole-ish for me. I don't know why but its so stupid that I don't even see it as fashion. But the fact that its so stupid and it's still considered fashion, like someone thought this was a good look, makes me so angry.

I guess in summary, all of these looks sucked to me. The main reason, because I bet they cost more than ill make in the upcoming years. Something about spending a ridiculous amount of money on something you should use to start a fire makes me so mad. Give me the classics, a nice dress and a smooth tux, and get out of my face. Not that there is any direct correlation to being the best dressed at the Gala...but c'mon. HE CAN DO NO WRONG (and neither can she).