Mosquitoes: The Downfall of Summer

We are now entering the season of three flags being flown in the back of a pickup truck because Skip is so patriotic and wants everyone to know his views on the right to bear arms, otherwise simply known as Summer. While summer has its bountiful upsides, it generates a fair share of downsides as well. While breaking out in a sweat because your sending a tweet is nice, it can get miserable after a while. But nothing, and I mean nothing, is worse than my nemesis of summer, the mosquito.

The mosquito in and of itself serves no purpose on the face of the earth. If I wanted to look at a small thing that only leads to disappointment, I'd just do a self body examination. The mosquito wakes up and it's first thought is "how can I ruin this humans day". Flies over to you, sticks its penis nose into any part of your body and injects you with some fluid that leads to acne with an itch. Basically, it is like Magic Johnson with wings, which now that I come to think about it is a terrible name for a guy with AIDS. Not only do they leave itchy bumps but can quite literally transmit viral diseases. Might as well just throw a yellow jersey and have it hang in the rafters of LA.

In terms of things that mean nothing because there are far greater travesties, the bug bite is the worst thing that can happen to a person. And they can strike at any time, the pool, around a campfire, while your sleeping, eating ice cream, any territory is fair game for these flying ass holes. And they only seem to make my favorite summer spots, much less meaningful. But they could potentially add to my list of new wave thinking in terrorist torture methods:

1. Making them do laundry

2. Weeding the yard

3. Having a fleet of mosquitos in the room at all time

In all my travels I have asked a lot of questions, and have been told a lot of answers but one answer has always alluded me, and it is, how do these things survive? Since I hate them and do not want to give them this much respect I refuse to Google the answer, and since I know I cannot stop the breeding process it would only make it that much worse for me. But how do they make it thru the fall, winter, and spring and wake up from the dead ready to ruin my life? I'm not sure, but if there was a secret to everlasting life, it's inside the evolution of a mosquito. And yes, you have to cite me when you use this in a scholarly article.

To summarize my rant, mosquitoes are the trade off in an otherwise awesome season. They keep coming, like the Kardashians in the public eye or Kim in a Ray J video. And no amount of shitty chemical infused camping cologne is gonna keep these things off of me.