Nope of the Week: Every Nope We've Missed

It's been some time since we last talked ladies and gentleman, and naturally people have been out continuing to spew nonsense and be dumb all over the world. In order to stay true to our culture of getting annoyed at morons, and in honor of reaching our fifth installment of the never ending nope saga, we decided to pay homage (vocab snaps) to all of the absolutely positively nopes and don'ts that occurred in our absence. Enjoy and feel free to comment if we missed any (but don't be a dick about it).

1. Male Rompers - This list is only meant for short little blurbs for each thing, but there is no concise way to put our frustration with these things into words. This girlfriend-repellent wedgie-machine is an ungodly contortion of fabric seemingly only existing to make us normal people angry. On an ultimate list of things that should never have existed, we would place this first; right above famine, disease, war, Macklemore's haircut epidemic and Iggy Azalea's "rap career".

2. Climate change denying is a thing - No we don't get into politics too much cause everyone would rather fight instead of calmly debate buuuuuut following Trump's decision to dip out of the Paris Accord we saw a lot of people talking about climate change the same way they talk about Albus Dumbledore. To those people: if we told you 99% of all scientists (the people that like, lock themselves in labs, don't watch sports, know things, read and test things over and over again until something makes them say "oh yeah, this is for sure a fact") concluded something is real, you can't just decide it's not. Go get a doctorate, run some tests, and debunk it with some real numbers and empirical evidence (emphasis on real and empirical). NOT by saying "Omg but Becky it's June and a little chilly outside in my one little corner of earth, this stuff has got to be fake!" Also s/o Neil Degrasse Tyson, we love you man so please answer our tweets.

3. Kathy Griffin does some Kathy Griffin type s**t. - With respect to being bipartisan (vocab snaps) we do have to throw Kathy a very obvious Nope for what she did with the whole, you know, making a bloody beheaded effigy of the president thing. You just had to know that one would be a nope, Kathy, but then again maybe not seeing as your whole career is kind of one big one.

4. Tiger Woods  - We're big Tiger guys, so it hurt to see the recording of Tiger drooling through a DUI stop with enough painkillers in his system to topple a full grown Wooly Mammoth. Guy literally looked like Spongebob and Patrick when they turned Man-Ray's Orb of Confusion on. Also, we're gonna go ahead and give half of this nope to the media/cops who released the footage at the drop of a hat. Body cam footage gets hidden when the a cop acts out of line during traffic stops and someone ends up hurt, but Tiger in a moment of career-ending weakness? Pass that!

5. Mr. Met flips off fan - This is probably going to be the coolest thing to happen to the Mets for a long time to come so it really shouldn't be on this list, but it's noteworthy. 

6. Baylor Football - Another pretty clear nope as they have 52 rape allegations and counting. 52! That's almost an entire travel roster. If they were that wildly aggressive on defense they may have done better than 6-6 this past season. 

7. Someone signed Ryan Fitzpatrick - It's kind of nutty to think this guy got scooped up in free agency over Colin Kaepernick when he completed more passes to defensive backs in 2016 than your average jugs machine does in a day of practice. And say what you want about Kaepernick's silent protest, but the NFL consistently re-signs women batterers, repeat drug policy violators, and in some cases guys involved in murder/obstruction of justice cases (and big Ray Lewis even has a post-retirement analyst job). If talent minimizes crime, it should definitely trump peaceful protest.

8. 19 of our fans are taking crazy pills - A couple weeks ago Our Bad's Twitter page tweeted a poll asking followers to choose between the one and only Justin Timberlake and the painfully average Ellen Degenerous doppelganger also known as Justin Bieber. The reason this makes our nope list is that 19 fans actually voted for Justin Bieber. And picking him over the same man who brought sexy back to us is a travesty punishable by loss of aux cord/talking privileges, so they also deserve the shame of being on this list.

9. Jets to trade/release Eric James Decker and more importantly his wife will go with him - The Jets fans on our staff are more than aware of the fact that this team may not win another game for a decade or so. We've long since accepted that. But now to release the prettiest thing on our team, along with his wife who one of our staff members may or may not have shared a special moment with (Tony - magical and mutually exciting prolonged eye contact complete with a smile [hers]..), we will officially be as ugly as we are bad. Aside from looks, us fans can now admit we know or genuinely care about like 6 members of this years team (big President Mal guys, geaux tigers). And we can't help but feel as if the plot of "Invincible" is the next thing to come for this franchise, in which wide open tryouts will be held with average joes at MetLife to try and field a full team by September.

10. This week we learned there is a Twitter account titled "Betches". Needs no explanation for it's presence on this list, but if you need any refer to the previous post about relatable girl Twitter and why it's the devil.

11. We also recently learned there is a Twitter account titled "Tiny Foods" in which some poor lonely individual prepares mouse-sized dishes of real food in a Barbie dollhouse type kitchen, while filming the entire thing. This raises so many questions but above all creeps us out to a point where we don't even want them answered, and thus it defaults to a nope. Although, the doughnuts one was pretty impressive.

12. Tay Swift channels shade learned from Kanye; directs it at Katy Perry - This nope also doubles as a sheesh since Tay Swift, once the all-American innocent victim of Kanye's nuttiness, decided to sprinkle some shade on Katy on the girl's recent album release date. Tay tay decided to put all her music back available for streaming on said day to go right at her fellow pop-star and fellow John Mayer-ex. Taylor, who is you girl!!! Now I don't even feel bad that Kanye took the mic that time at the awards (to say what everyone was thinking *kanye shrug*). In fact, from here on out I am without a doubt team Katy. Also noteworthy, I have never felt more uncomfortable or itchy than when I saw that treadmill commercial of you dancing to Drake. So just all around chill.

13. These weird sticky "pull a string and you all of a sudden have bangin' cleavage" bras - What single handedly might be the greatest nope of the season, is those pull together sticky bras that keep flooding my Instagram feed. You know the ones i'm talking about. The one where girls stand there with just about everything in the kitchen sink hanging out, and then boom, with the pull of a string, you've got the best looking knockers on the planet. These things simply don't make sense ladies, you are literally asking the universe to work in your favor when you are purposefully going against gravity! First of all, any girl who has ever worn sticky boobs, knows that the stick wears off within a few uses. Pair that having to pull your boobs into an unnatural formation, and you've set yourself up for disaster. Being the only female perspective at Our Bad, my colleagues would probably argue that a bra (no matter what kind) that makes a girls boobs look good, is a win win. But please ladies, for the love of god, take yourself to Victoria Secret, spend your money on a decent product and get this catastrophe off of my feed. 

(Male take - These are stupid and the intrigue wears off after the 92nd one on the feed. But also imagine there was a tool that used a string to help inflate a man's bulge ("oh just to make pants fit better of course") and then imagine that guys everywhere were taking videos of it in action. Weird and annoying concept that we are all very done with seeing. But boobs are tight.) 

As you can see the world has been busy these past few weeks or so doing things that are plain stupid, and we can't imagine it's going to slow up anytime soon. But we just wanted to share with you our thoughts on what we saw as the worst of the worst in recent times. Where nopes are, we'll always be here to sniff them out and share our anger with you. Until next time, and for anything we may have missed, nope!