Weekly News Update

Hello everyone. After taking what seems like a couple months long hiatus, I am trying to get the ball rolling with the site again. 

Thus I thought to myself that it might be best served to revisit some newsworthy items that happened this week. 

Let’s start with Meghan Markle. The former actress of Suits is headed to Britain as she has announced her enegagement with Prince Harry. But, as the old saying goes, we must look at our past to better prepare for the future. From all accounts, marriages can be a grind. A battle if you will. There’s constant bickering over who is right and who is wrong, adapting to one another’s cultures and ideologies, and even things like what kind of tea we have around the house. This can all add up to turmoil. So be weary Harry, last time an American engaged a Brit, we called it the American Revolution. 

Let’s move onto a lighter subject, Matt Lauer. As you all know by now, he has been fired from NBC News for the latest case of sexual misconduct in a string of tirades that is condemning both national media and Hollywood. The A list celebrity was fired this week after multiple women came forward and said that he was a little too frisky and made advances completely unacceptable for any person on another, which I totally agree with. Matt Lauer, or as I call him, Lau Lau, which just so happens to translate to, “meat wrapped in or covered with leaves”, was allegedly dropping his pants like it was a wardrobe change at the VS Fashion Show. Like many of his cohosts and biggest fans, no one saw this cumming. He would so readily disguise himself as a golucky guy with a great attitude. But sometimes it’s better to be heard rather than NBCeen. And apparently, like some supervillain, he had a button he could press that would lock the door from his desk. So Matt, kick rocks.  Because, much like your locking mechanism that wouldn’t let people in/out, you’re going to get your fair share of sexual advances in much more closed corners.  

Finally, I wanted to move onto Eli Manning. As much as I hate the bastard for ruining two super bowls for me in agonizing fashion, I still have some respect for the guy. News broke that Eli was being benched for Geno Smith, and as I alluded to on Twitter, maybe Ben McAdoo is trying to win the hearts of the working class citizen, by literally starting a Blue Collared Black Smith. That’s right, our nation was literally founded on pounding the rock, just ask Plymouth when we landed on it. And with Geno at the helm of the ship you can’t be expecting many passes. Expect him to be listening to All-Star on repeat this week, because Smashmouth football is the only way they are going to get a win. I don’t agree with the decision to bench him, but if we learned anything from the Eli in biblical terms, he failed to look over his two sons who then caused havoc. But something tells me this Eli is different. He will get these two prepared and look out for them, to get slaughtered on Sunday. Rebirth comes in many forms it just so happens tha sacrifice is one of them. So good luck Geno.

That’s my week update so far, I hope I was able to provide some laughs along the way. Now back to you Matt...I mean Al.